Saturday, January 19, 2008

Control And Your Divorce Attorney

Can there be control issues in the divorce lawyer-client relationship?

There are often control issues in the divorce lawyer-client relationship. For example, a client may pick a lawyer who mirrors his or her spouse and the issues relating to that relationship. A client can pick a lawyer who reminds him or her of that person's parent, good or bad, who had an influence on his or her life. A client may pick a lawyer that he or she idolizes, and then a battle for control can shift around. Sometimes the lawyers are complete control freaks and the two lawyers get into their own battle for control, between themselves or with the judge, and the clients are just sort of left on the sidelines.

How can I choose the right divorce attorney?


You can avoid choosing a lawyer who you may have control issues with by picking the right type of lawyer for you. If you had control issues with your soon-to-be-ex, don't pick the same type of personality. Similarly, you do not want to pick a divorce lawyer who is a control freak and wants to control you and the process unless that's what you need because you are incapable of making your own decisions. But if you are incapable of making your own decisions, don't criticize the process or your lawyer for making the decisions for you.

How do I manage control issues with my divorce attorney?

If you're experiencing control issues with your lawyer talk about it with your lawyer. Figure out if the relationship can be modified, what the problem is, and if it can be solved. It may be it's easily solvable it may be solvable with effort or maybe a lost cause. Maybe you guys are just not a match.

Why am I letting my divorce lawyer control me?

You may be letting your divorce lawyer control you for positive reasons or negative reasons. It may be that your divorce lawyer is controlling you because in certain instances they may know better, and are trying to protect you. I've had clients say to me "Please protect me from myself". You may also be letting your lawyer control you for not very good reasons, because you're not willing to take control of your divorce and your life.

1 comment:

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