Friday, September 19, 2008

A Dad's Guide to Parenting without a Partner

When a single father becomes in charge of his children, he does not get a book telling him what to expect at any point during each child's development. Mothers are apt to be more familiar with the developmental stages of children. Still, single fathers need to realize that knowing about the stages of child development does not always guarantee a readiness to deal with those stages.

Single fathers want to proceed with child rearing in a manner that exudes calm and wisdom. That of course is not always possible. A single father can not easily remain calm when his child is throwing breakable items in a grocery store. A single father does not suddenly get the Wisdom of Solomon the moment that his son or daughter decides to tell a friend that there is no Santa Clause and no tooth fairy either.

Gregory Keer, a single father and writer has struggled to stay calm and to find wisdom during the above-mentioned crises. He has advised single fathers against putting too much emphasis on the importance of such qualities. After all, a child's greatest need is love.

A child needs to feel wanted. A child needs to feel cared for. A child needs to feel loved for being the type of person that he or she is. The single father must make clear to each child that he loves that child. The single father should display the manner in which each child fills a special place in the father's life.

A display of love does not require the giving of countless gifts. A display of love involves the giving of kisses, hugs and cuddles. Single fathers need to understand what experts have learned about such displays of love.

One study group chose to focus on a group of 379 kindergarten children. The study group followed those children for 36 years. The study group examined the influence of many different factors, factors that contribute to adult social adjustment. The group found that displays of love, more than any other factor, aided the development of adult social skills.

When children receive love from their parents, they grow up to be loving parents. They know how to show love to a spouse. They do not shy away from developing close friendships. They derive pleasure from both their home life and from activities in which they take part outside of the home.

While a single father faces can not expect much luck with finding a book that offers the dos and don'ts for a man such as himself, a single father can find some advice by reading magazines that target teenagers. One issue of Teen Magazine had an article on "Alternative Families."

One teenager wrote about her father. This is what she said: "I have a bedroom at my dad's but I stay at my mom's more—it's closer to everything. Some people see their dads only on weekends. I see mine every day. He drives me to school each morning. He comes to my drill team performances. Although he doesn't live with me, he's there for me."

At the close of this essay by the teenager, one reads more about the importance of love. The young girl writes this: "Everybody in my family is there for each other; we just don't live in the same house. I feel they are the people who love me and care about me, and we can always turn to each other."

A display of love to children guarantees a show of love from children. A single father can enjoy such love.

Article Source:

No comments: