Friday, September 19, 2008

Coping with being a Single Parent after a Divorce

You knew how to parent your children when you were a couple but how do you handle the stress in the middle of a divorce. You should come up with new rules for your little children. You should reestablish the priorities of your family and ease up on the discipline until your children have gotten through the stress of your family breaking up.

Whether you're the parent who one custody or the parent who didn't get custody and is feeling guilty and knows what their children need and is unable to offer it to them, your job as a parent may look much harder after a separation than it is in the beginning. Your life has changed and the way you parent will as well.

Divorced parents tend to ease up on the discipline during difficult times and believe that this strategy helps their children cope better with the situation. Some experts agree that you should ease up on the discipline but not entirely. Undue leniency during the period of a divorce may easily lead to a situation where a child develops unwanted behaviors. Divorce tends to be hard on children and can easily lead to hurt, fear and instability. The best way of getting your children through these changes is to try and remain as predictable as you can in regards to your expectation, discipline and punishment.

So many things can change in your lives during the period of a divorce but they need to understand that the rules and consequences for these rules remain the same.

If your parenting styles before the divorce were a part of your marital conflict then you may be ready to adopt a new style. When change is at hand you should be as clear and as firm as possible regarding the new rules when these children are with you. Remember that you have to be fair, understanding, patient and gentle. It should take sometime for your children to get used to your own style of parenting. When you are firm it means an entirely new style of parenting and not that you have to overbearing.

These are a few tips that can easily get you through the beginning stages of your life when you are a divorced parent.

Consistency and Dependability

Your kids need to know what you expect and what to expect if they stray from the right paths. Your children depend on you to make them safe. You should take the opportunity to assure them that they are your utmost priority.

Learn to Forgive

It's hard for you to forget how you got to the stage of getting a divorce but you should find a way to forgive your spouse for any role that they played in your divorce. Never speak ill about your ex where your children are.

Stay Honest With Your Children

When you are disappointed that your life is taking a new direction share your grief a little but make sure that your children understand that everything will work out great. You should make them a part of everything from choosing your new home to making changes to your existing one in order to reduce the emptiness that you feel with the departure of your spouse.

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