Saturday, January 19, 2008
Psychological Warfare And Divorce
What is "psychological warfare" in divorce?
Psychological warfare in divorce is when one person is messing with somebody else's head, hoping that they will believe that they are crazy.
How do I protect myself from my spouse's psychological warfare during my divorce?
There are few things you can do to protect yourself from engaging being the victim of psychological war. You protect yourself by recognizing if they are messing with you head and if their efforts are real or just perceived. If somebody is threatening you with violence, you need to take it seriously if they're messing with you head to lead you to believe that they had an affair, who cares? Emotionally you care but you can't let it get to you so that you alter you life and how you engage.
Who's the winner of a psychological divorce war?
No, if each person is upping the ante. That's what war of the roses was all about, and if you remember the last scene they are hanging from that chandelier and they died.
What is a "tug of war" in a psychological divorce war?
A "tug of war" in a psychological war is the battle for control. Frankly, the tug of war can be engaged in all the wars, the emotional battle for control, the legal battle for control and the psychological battle for control. It is possible to win a tug of war in divorce, one, by not engaging, you really have the upper hand or two, if somebody is so adept at playing mind games, they can literally make the other person either go crazy or be so afraid that you're going to mess with their head even more, they're like a quivering idiot.
How can I defend myself in a psychological divorce war?
To be a successful defender in a psychological divorce war, recognize that the person is engaging in psychological war. Don't believe them and don't engage.
Should I go on the attack in a psychological divorce war?
You don't necessarily want to be the attacker in a divorce war because, frankly it's a waist of time, it's a waist of energy, it has no overall real purpose, and people will think less of you for it.
How can I avoid being an attacker in a psychological divorce war?
You can avoid being an attacker during a divorce by finding better things to do with your life. Go to the gym, get a job, give to charity. Don't waste your time and mind playing with somebody else in a psychological war.
How do I avoid defensiveness in a psychological divorce war?
You should avoid being a defender in a psychological divorce war because, if the other person is successful, you will go crazy. You will spend all your time obsessing over the mind games. How do you avoid getting caught up in that vortex? Recognize what it is for what it is. Find other things to do with your time rather than engage in the psychological war. Work to better your self esteem. Don't play the victim. Don't allow yourself to be the victim